The Musings of an Elective Orphan

Sarah Brandis


Sarah Brandis

I’m right here, under these birds.

Who is The Elective Orphan?


My name is Sarah, I am thirty-three years young, and an ‘Elective Orphan’.  I chose to leave my ‘parents’ behind at age sixteen after a childhood of abuse.

These days I am a Cognitive Neuroscience graduate, a marketeer, an author, Personal Coach and a ninja.  One of those things was a lie.  My mission in life is to be living proof that your past need not dictate your future.  Change is really hard work, but it’s so worth it.

Here is the synopsis from my book, returning to Amazon in early 2015.


The Breaking and Making of Me

Second Edition coming to Kindle in early 2015, shortly followed by paperback copies via Create Space.

Let me introduce myself.  My name is Sarah.  I am thirty-two years young, and I am what I like to call an ‘elective orphan’.  That is to say that I chose to live without my parents for my own good.  My interest in Psychology and Neuroscience has been with me for as long as I can remember.  I was always interested in what went on in the minds’ and brains’ of my abusive parents.  And then as I grew up, I became more interested in the workings of my own mind, as I began to realise all the mistakes I was making.  Even though I was free of my parents, I was allowing history to repeat itself.

What leads an intelligent person to seek out more abuse?  Why do girls with ‘Daddy Issues’ crave men just like their fathers?

My search for love and acceptance took me down many rabbit-holes.  I now know that none of them served as an escape from my childhood pain, but more an extension of it.

So what can psychological theories tell me about myself?

And can a lost child ever really grow up?



One comment on “About

  1. samczw
    December 16, 2013

    I should really go to sleep but I just stumbled upon your amazing piece on daddy issues. I’m a 31 year old British girl and I have dad issues. There, I said it too. I have an amazing mother, step father and step-sister, but I too choose not to have my biological father in my life for my own good.
    Your take on it is fascinating and entirely sensible. I was reading up on some bits on Google and was a little shocked at the stigma attached to people (mainly women) with ‘dad’ issues, with some articles almost blaming her for being that way, all the while forgetting that it wasn’t her fault.
    Thanks Sarah for reassuring me that i’m not on my own here. 🙂

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