The Musings of an Elective Orphan

Sarah Brandis

I’m getting a home!!!

Flat shares - being unfairly represented since 1994.  It is never this much fun!

Flat shares – being unfairly represented since 1994. It is never this much fun!

As orphan’s go, I can’t complain.  I have pretty much always had a roof over my head, of one description or another.  But tomorrow, I am getting a home.  A proper one!

I have spent the last four and a half years in share houses (bleugh!), and before that I shared a bedsit with my abusive ex-husband.  Before that I lived above the pub I worked in, with the abusive ex, and other pub employees.  And prior to that, more sharing.  It’s been a long and winding road, and there were times that I thought I would never get here, and would have to build a treehouse in the woods to get any peace.

It's good to have options!

It’s good to have options!

But tomorrow, at 10:00, I get the keys to a real home that I will share with my partner and no-one else.  I can have a shower without queueing/being hurried/having a cold one.  I can make a cup of tea without being barged out the way by a flatmate.  I can use the washing machine without causing a small war to break out (Ok, this one is an exaggeration)  But I can walk around in my PJs without being self-conscious!  And when I am sick, I can have a sick day on my own sofa, in my own home.  It will be clean and peaceful, and I can call it ‘home’.

Not everyone has really understood my extreme excitement about this.  It is quite simple really.  The majority of people who grew up with a loving parent/parents had a home as a child.  And the family home is always there for them.  It’s another option, a fall-back plan.  Somewhere to run to when life gets too much.  I have never had a sense of home.  I have almost always had somewhere to live, but it wasn’t ever mine.  It belonged to other people and was on their terms.  Which gives you the constant sense that the rug could be pulled from under you at any moment.  It is a constant state of powerlessness.

Time to move on.  Happy days!  And now off to work, I have bills to pay…

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4 comments on “I’m getting a home!!!

  1. diahannreyes
    November 18, 2013

    Congratulations! I am realizing more and more that we all need to feel at home in our own space.. it is the grounding that allows so much else to happen. I loved reading about your excitement. Enjoy!

  2. sarahbgoode
    November 19, 2013

    Thank you 🙂 It really is about ‘the grounding’, I agree.

  3. samczw
    December 17, 2013

    Sarah, thanks for your wonderful comment on my blog last night…which I had to edit a little as my late night grammar was bad! Your comment was very frank and I truly appreciate it – I’m also looking for a house and am relying on the come back of the 95% mortgage to get me through it since i’m a single parent daughter! Hey ho, it’ll happen. I also empathise with you for your time with an abusive ex – it happens to the best us! Sounds like you absolutely deserve the best!

    Sam x

    • sarahbgoode
      December 18, 2013

      Thanks Sam 🙂
      I am just renting for now, would also need that 95% mortgage I think! But the change is that my partner and I are finally renting alone. No more flatmates! I was seriously in need of some personal space and a sense of home, which I just wasn’t achieving having too many other people in my space. One of them was long-term unemployed (through his own choice, I hasten to add) so he never left the house. It was stifling!
      But loving this change. Having some space has made me feel a lot more secure and loads happier.

      Sarah x

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