Of all the challenges I’ve faced, past and present, this simple little thing may be the biggest. I am simply trying to not give a damn, and this is harder than it sounds. ‘Zen thinking’ is an elusive little bugger. Can I catch it through mindfulness meditation? Or perhaps through a full-bodied and fruity red wine? Who knows…
It’s the things that I cannot fix that trouble me the most. For example, friends that need help, but I either don’t know how to help them, or as with one (male – shuh!), there is a total and flat refusal of any help from anyone.
So I find myself saying “Fine then, be a jerk! But don’t come crawling to me when you have your inevitable mid-life crisis!”….*sigh. But I don’t really mean that. I actually mean “You will take my well-meant advise right now, whether you want it or not, or I will ninja-kick you in your silly proud face!”. Yep, that’s what I really meant.
I want to be Neil, but alas, I am at least 90% Rick. If I truly didn’t give a damn, then I wouldn’t talk about it every week at counselling. Nor would I be blogging about it now. I suppose I just have to accept that you can lead a horse (friend/jerk/whoever) to water, but you can’t make him drink.
I just hate seeing people unmotivated and unhappy, when they do have the capacity to turn things around for themselves. Do they not want to? Nope, that’s ridiculous. There is probably a whole area of psychology dedicated to just this, but I have not discovered it yet. Why do people not help themselves when they can? Is this a form of depression? Is it overwhelm or burnout from living in this rat race? Or are they actually the enlightened ones?
I have wondered before now, and stay with me here even if I sound a bit crazy, if the people who ‘check out’ of ‘polite society’ are actually the most enlightened of all. You know, the ones you see drinking in the daytime and talking to themselves. Are they looking at us and laughing, because we buy into the rat race and all its ideals? Do they laugh at us for getting up early five days a week, cramming ourselves onto public transport, and pretty much whoring ourselves to ‘the man’? And all of it so we can go back to our over-priced rented homes, stare at the TV for a bit, and then do it all again tomorrow. Seriously – are they laughing at us and our ‘ideals’?!? A little part of me wouldn’t blame them. But then, in all probability, they are just laughing at a squirrel or something, because that third can of white cider made literally everything hilarious.
Anyway, if you made it to the end of my rant, then thanks for reading!
Rick Sarah – Zen Master in training (it’s a long road)